That's What You Get
by I'm Vertically-Challenged
Summary: Bella loves Edward, Edward loves Bella. What they don't know is that secretly love e/o behind the hate façade. Things take a turn for the worse that change their perspectives, but can they keep up with all the drama? AH Loosely based on a Paramore song.
1. Shopping

"Woahhh, I never meant to brag, but I—"my cell phone rang _Misery Business_ by _Paramore_ loudly. Phil got me into that band after getting me that CD for my birthday last year.

"Hello?"

"BELLA! What are you doing today?!" Alice exclaims excitedly, of course she would call, shopping today. There was a short pause, Alice guessing my answer because I decided to hesitate. "Never mind, you're free. We're going shopping!" she squealed.

"Okay Alice, calm down. Just let me get ready, come over in an hour."

"Okay!" she squeaked. "Bye Bella!" Alice hung up.

Alice is my best friend. I've known her my whole life. We went to school together almost every day. I love Alice much, but sometimes she'll get on my nerves or annoy me with her love of shopping.

I jumped off my bed, and grabbed my towel, and bag of toiletries off my desk. After I got out of the shower, I quickly changed into a pair of black skinny jeans, grey vintage graphic tee, and a pair of blood red converse. I threw on my black pea coat and grabbed my black clutch with a gold chain, containing my blackberry, keys, and wallet. Alice's yellow Porsche was parked in my driveway, her waiting in the driver's seat.

"Let's go!!" she yelled.

I ran to her car, seeing the impatient look on her face. I didn't feel like going through another one of Alice's fits when she didn't get her way much, she's very impatient. Opening the door, I realized that she had _Ransom_ by _Drake_ playing on her stereo. She was in another one of those _music mood swings_ I like to call them, because she'd go through this music phase on a certain genre every once in awhile. While she was rapping along, I managed to get her attention and ask, "Where are we going today?"

"What? I can't hear you!" she replied. She turned down the radio and asked again, "What did you say?"

"I said, where are we going today?" I repeated.

"Oh, we're going to Seattle to go to the new _Express_ store opening, they have a grand opening sale." Alice is always looking for an excuse to shop. Typical.

"Okay, and how long are we going to be?" I asked.

"Oh, I don't know, maybe… 3 hours?" she replied, looking out into the road. Alice loves to drive fast like the rest of her family, Edward, Emmett, and her parents, Carlisle and Esme Cullen.

"Whatever, Alice, just remember, only _Express_, because it's not reasonable to be spending your whole day shopping, even though we know you love it _so_ much." I reply.

"Sheesh, Bella, I know my limits," she replies a little annoyed.

"I know, but sometimes you just get too carried away, I'm scared you might turn into a shopaholic," I shiver, teasing her playfully.

"Hardy har har, Bella, very funny," she replies sarcastically.

As soon as we get into _Express,_ she squeals delightfully, scaring me _and_ everyone else in the store.

'_So much fun, so little time!' _I imagine her thinking to herself.

She finally picks out a ton of stuff for herself, _and _me. As much as Alice _loves_ shopping for herself, she just _adores_ shopping for someone else, and dressing them up like a doll. Barbie Bella,**(A/N: Hah, got that from AlwaysMyBella and her AWESOME story, _Unknown Caller_)** I'd call myself, because she would tow me over to her house, and dress me up with elegant clothing and make up. Alice is not the type to cake on or anything, she is very talented on that, and very fashionable. She is planning on becoming either a make-up artist, or a fashion designer. I _know_ she'll be a shoe-in for those jobs.

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****ALL OUTFiTS ARE POSTED ON MY BiO/PAGE !!****

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**A/N: Thanks sooo much for reading!! This is chapter one, and I hope you guys like it! Review please?? *Pouts like Alice* I know you guys are wanting some B&E action, but this is just the 1st chapter! Kinda having some writer's block, any ideas please? Inspirations from AlwaysMyBella & DoubleAgentA & Danifaith12345. Thanks guys! All of them are human BTW, no vampirism, I wanted to keep it Mortal in this story, & there is going to be a Jacob, but he's going to be Bella's Gay best friend (no offense to Jacob lovers, & I'm not doing it because I hate Jacob, which I do, & no Homophobia either). Edward & Bella will already be together, & any more Q's, please include in the reviews. I will only answer FAQ's, so please don't think I hate you if I didn't answer your unique Q. Thanks & Reivews ?! :} **


	2. Morning

Driving back, I ask Alice to take me home, because I have to get home in time to cook dinner for Charlie. It was already 3:00PM when we left Port Angeles. An hour driving back, I would be home by 4, starting dinner. I dozed off in the car, tired from all that running Alice made me do in _Express_; for a store that looks small on the outside, it was pretty huge on the inside!

*

Waking up, I thought we had gotten back, but for some reason, I woke up in a familiar room. It took me a second to realize it was Edward's room, the room I had known and memorized for a long time.

"I guess you're awake now?" A velvet voice said. It was Edward. A little startled to notice that he was lying right next to me the whole time, I jumped slightly in the bed. After that second of surprise, I smiled back at his remark.

"Yes, I am." I replied; a little dazed for the millionth time. Edward had that favorite smile of mine, crooked, but childish and sweet. We stare into each other's eyes for a while, looking into his soul, his bright green orbs looking into my chocolate brown orbs, seeing deep into his soul. I felt like I was swimming so freely when I looked deep into his eyes. I realized our hands were intertwined, and blushed deeply at my unobservant movement. He then let his hand go, to reach and touch my cheek; I blushed an even deeper red, most likely making my cheeks look like tomatoes. Edward chuckled and leaned in, he kissed me so softly, and slowly, I started to melt. A threw my leg around his waist, and he hitched his hand on my thigh, holding me tight, even though we were lying down together. He leaned away after awhile to catch his breath, giving me time to speak also. "I love you," we both said at the same time. I giggled while he chuckled at that, and after that, we stared into each other's eyes and started kissing again. My mind started to swim. I gripped his hair tighter, which I also just realized I was gripping already, and pulled myself tighter into him as he did also. I decided to reach out for his drawer, which I knew where he put his condoms. He gripped my hand, making me lean back in surprise. "What, Edward?" I asked, furrowing my brow. He smoothed out my brow with his finger.

"Nothing, it's just that its morning, and Alice, and Emmett are waiting for us to come downstairs. And I know that Emmett doesn't like being kept from his food." He shuddered lightly; I shuddered too, seeing Emmett cranky in the morning freaking for food was not a pretty sight.

"I can't wait for the night then," I mumbled slightly annoyed. Edward chuckled, "But I can't though!" I said. He leaned back and stared at me, surprised.

"What?" I said worried and confused.

"Isabella Marie Swan, I'm sure you didn't just confess out loud that you can't wait for sex!" He mocked a surprised person face. I just started blushing and giggling a lot.

"Oops! ...Edward! ...I can't …believe …you just ….said that!" I laughed in between the sentence. He just continued laughing, and we were in bliss of happiness this whole morning. I wonder what Alice and Emmett would reflect on it. I snorted at the fact that Alice would be jumping for joy at that, making me spill later in the day, and Emmett insulting my sex life. At least we could resist enough, WAY more than him and Rosalie, his girlfriend, and twin sister to Jasper, who is Alice's boyfriend. Alice and Jasper were a cute love couple, just like Angela and Ben, they always had doe eyes at each other, being sweet and polite, I scoffed at the fact that Rosalie and Emmett _loved_ ─wait, scratch that, _savored_─ lust, I know that they really did love each other, even though they savored lust. You could really tell; _they _also had the doe eyes you would see before they left to split to their separate classes. I wonder if me and Edward did that, most possibly, we did.

"What are you snorting and scoffing about?" Edward asked, confused. I smoothed his furrowed brow this time.

"Emmett and Alice's reactions when we get downstairs for breakfast. And laughing at Emmett's and Rosalie's sex lives, how they seem to make fun of ours, when theirs are more _ridiculous_! Weirdest place I bet they ever had sex was, hmm, probably the park behind a bush!" I started laughing so much. So did Edward.

"Hey! I heard that!" Emmett shouted. We just laughed harder.

After that marathon of laughs, I decided to take a shower, and walked to Alice's room because I knew she would be waiting there, to dress me. "Hey Ali," I said.

"Hey Bella!" she squealed, "don't be sad, I'm going to be simple, but chic today, don't fret, that's what you get!" she rhymed for me, her motto to dressing me when I 'needed' it.

"Go on, 'pamper' me," I groaned, while adding air quotes to 'pamper.' Alice shoved me some clothes to go change into. When I got into the bathroom, I found out they were grey acid washed skinny jeans, red-but-close-to-hot-pink v-neck tee with a graphic face design. There was also a pair of yellow peep toe pumps, and some gold bangles with matching gold mini hoop earrings. I decided that Alice would probably either give me her famous 'smoky eye' look she likes to test on me, or some bright color for eye shadow. I'm going to freak if she tries to give me red lipstick again. I think red lipstick would not be good for me, but I thought it was gorgeous for all _other_ women, but me. Alice doesn't get that part; she thinks I look sexy with it. I scoffed at a flash back.

"_Come on!! I think you look awesome and I think you _would_ look sexy, especially Edward!" Alice retaliated. _

"_I said it once, I'm going to say it again, Alice _─_ that is _not_ my color!" I explained once more for the 30__th__ time in the past hour._

"_What if, what if I put it on your lips; you really see what it looks like yourself, and I'll show Edward and ask his opinion!?" she asked excitedly._

"_NO!" I gasped._

"_Puh-leeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeease?" Alice pouted, putting on her puppy dog face._

"_Only once, if I don't like it though, you can't show this to Edward at _all_," I partially agreed with Alice's reasoning, I can actually _see_ the reasoning._

"_Sure!" Alice exclaimed as she dashed for the red lipstick._

_After she was finished, I looked in the mirror and partially gasped inside myself, to make sure she wouldn't see my surprise. She did. I actually saw a person on the other side of the mirror, who looked surprised, it was Edward. _

"_Alice!" I said exasperated and whined._

"_He he he …" Alice laughed nervously, "You like your outfit?" she tried to change the subject, but failed infinitely._

"_Argh! I-I- uhm… Edward? Are you okay?" I looked at Edward, he seemed a little flustered. Maybe the lipstick did look good, my good conscience told me. Nah, it's just the outfit, Edward seemed to have the same effect on it every time Alice dressed me to impress, my bad conscience retaliated. I went with the bad conscience. _

"_Uhm… yeah, I'm going to go back to my room to get changed," he almost zoomed out of Alice's doorway, I thought for I second, I saw him flush._

After Alice finished my make-up, I quickly looked at my lips; there was red lipstick there; except for the fact that they were toned down with pink gloss to make it seem subtler. I actually went with it oddly. Going downstairs was going to be a little bit harder to me, as I had to concentrate not to slip and die because of the heels. I had always been clumsy, even tripping on flat surfaces. As we got downstairs to the kitchen, I saw Emmett snarfing down Eggs and Bacon. I laughed and gave my 'big brother' a hug. Emmett always seemed like a big brother to me, the 'stupid but loveable jock,' as I would like to put it. He would always be coming up with corny jokes, and telling them to me.

"Hey Bella, Wanna hear another joke?!" Emmett exclaimed.

"Sure, let's hear it," I replied, stifling a laugh.

"Okay, what's 6 inches long, produces a white foam, while you put it in your mouth a move it, up and down, in and out, and all around?" he asked snickering. It only hit me then, when it sounded very dirty and Emmett was using that at breakfast while everyone was eating. I saw Alice give him a disgusted look, and Edward and Jasper snicker also. Carlisle and Esme looked at Emmett again like they were asking themselves, '_How do we love this 'special' child and how is he our son whatsoever?'_

"Emmett! You shouldn't use foul language at breakfast!" I scolded him, horror struck.

"Well, I never said the answer _was_ supposed to be dirty you know, it could be clean!" he answered slyly. I blushed and covered my face, embarrassed.

"Okay, then what's the answer?" I asked, even though I was sure it had to be a dick.

"A toothbrush!" Emmett guffawed loudly as I stood there, fuming.

"Emmett! Don't do that again! I could've sworn you almost had the answer as… uhm, never mind!" I tried to wrap up lightly. Emmett laughed harder.

"You thought… it was a dick! I bet you it was Edward's dick you were dreaming of!" He teased.

"Emmett! You know 'payback's always a bitch'," I re-quoted him. He stopped laughing, and knew that I had Alice on my side for plans to sabotage him. I saw Alice perk up cheekily and gave me a wink to know she had an idea already.

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**(A/N): Don't we all just _love_ Emmie Bear! I think he's like a gummy bear, so everytime Emmett comes to mind, I think of gummy bears. When I think of Alice, I think of Cotton Candy, so free and wild and sticky. When I think of Edward, I think of chocolate, warm and delicious and comforting to many souls. When I think of Rosalie, I think of Confectioner's Sugar, sweet, bad, and pretty. When I think of Esme, I think of Warm Sugar Cookies out of the oven, warm, sweet, and a home-like feeling of love. When I think of Carlisle, I think of Carrots, because they're good for you, and good for your eyes; by the eye thing, I mean good point of views. When I think of Jasper, I think of birthday cake, the different emotions and themes on it, but always original, no matter what. When I think of Bella, I think of Vanilla, sweet, caring, and plain but pretty, a simple beauty that is the most beautiful thing of it. Those are my food analogies of the characters from my view, what are yours? Review, Review, Review !! **


	3. Getting Ready

As soon as we finished breakfast, ─I should say Emmett, because he took the rest of everything─ everybody else got dressed, and I pulled Alice upstairs and gave _her _the makeover this time. I gave her a pair of silk black skinny jeans, a while chiffon ruffle short sleeved shirt, an electric blue elbow length cardigan, and a pair of peep toe electric blue pumps. She picked out the jewelry; a long silver necklace with a heart pendant, a pair of Tiffany diamond stud earrings, and a bunch of thin silver bangles. Rose did her makeup, giving her a smoky look with nude lip gloss, and a light blush. Rose already dressed herself so Alice couldn't attack her. Smart bitch! I should've thought of that! This whole time, god, am I clueless.

Rose was wearing a pair of light blue skinny jeans, and black peep-toe pumps, a black halter with a v neck, a light grey elbow length blazer that was close to the body to show her curves and was left open. She had gold eye shadow to make her icy blue eyes stand out, light pink lip gloss, and big gold door knocker earrings with a long pearl necklace that was knotted. Rose was like a model; curvy and beautiful. She had long blonde hair that waved gently mid-length, and icy blue eyes that were piercing. Just seeing her and how beautiful she looked would already take a hit on a girls' self-esteem.

Alice was short, about 4'10", with a spiky bob that framed her face daily, and on special occasions, it would be softly curled and pinned back, with a few finger waves. Alice had striking dark blue eyes that accentuated her pale skin perfectly, her eyes can will you to do very crazy things, also known as Alice's famous puppy dog eyes. I'm surprised she hasn't willed Jasper into cliff diving like the La Push locals do for him to get her some _exclusive_ Prada purse that she just happened to drop over the cliff and hangs on a branch 500 feet below.

I think I'm finally going crazy from hanging out with these people that I so call them my family & best friends. Does anyone have any Loxapine? I could really use an antipsychotic agent right about now. I feel like I'm having a mid-life crisis, but instead of it being because I would be old, it would be because I realized these people are partially crazy; of course hypothetically, because I'm only about 23, and guess what? I still live with my dad. Wonderful! I have big, brown eyes, and Mahogany Brown hair. I have pale skin, just like everyone in Forks, but it doesn't look sallow, like I'm sick or look like I haven't slept in years.

"Bella!" yelled Alice, waving a hand in my face.

"Huh?" I asked, partially bewildered by Alice's pitchy voice when she yells or screams.

"Me and Rose were asking you about our outfits, and you didn't answer?" she questioned skeptically.

"Oh, I didn't hear you, sorry. I zoned out." I explained quickly.

"Of course you would, what about? Spill please?" she gave me puppy dog eyes. I am definitely not giving in because I'm sure she _would _think I'm crazy for asking myself for crazy medicine.

"No, just random stuff you wouldn't need or want to know about; boring shit." I retorted nervously.

"Okay." They eyed me skeptically.

"What?! I'm not crazy or anything; why the fuck are you looking at me like that?!" I asked, thinking I have something in my hair or I just said I loved eating shit bricks to them, which is not what I would say, or do, or even _consider_ doing.

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**Woah, Mini cliffie! I wonder what or_ why_ Alice & Rose look Bella like she's crazy or something. Give me a review, because honestly, idk what they are looking at her crazy for either. We'll just have to wait and see, _both _of us, so don't worry. SO SORRY FOR CREEPING AWAY OFF THE FACE OF THE EARTH TO NOT UPDATE IN A WHILE! :( Oh well, have a Happy Be-Lated Valentine's Day! Loveedd, some of the Valentine's Day 1-shot Fanfictions ! :) Anyways, Question of the Day(QOTD): What kind of Vday would some of the Twilight couples have? AH or AV ? Even those Jacob & Leah fans would be accepted to put in their Vday. I always had a feeling that Leah probably and secretly imprinted on Jacob w/o letting him know, and thought Jacob would imprint on Leah & they would be together, but sadly, they did not, and Leah is alone in the end, and Jacob imprints on Nessie. Too bad, soo sad. :/ Oh well, it'll work out some way through these fanfics. :) Lol, I'mmsuchhaFreakk;) 3 **

**--TheLovelyBlahhs**

**REViEW REViEW REViEW !! :P**

**Now I will go,**

**Buh-byeee !!!!!!!!! ^,..,^  
**

**(PS-Loxapine-Antipsychotic agent, something used to keep the crazy sane, I found out about a lot of medicine through that show with Hugh Laurie- House MD.)**

**(PPS-I AM NOT CRAZY!)**

**(PPPS-I DiD NOT LAND OFF THE FACE OF THE EARTH, I JUST HAVE A LiFE YA KNOW !! XD; SOrry for wasting ur time, BYEEEE ! :D )**

**(PPPPS-I LiKE COOKEHZ & iCE CREAM . NOW IM DONE)**

**(PPPPPS-BYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!! 3 :} )  
**


	4. Escaping Alice & Defeating Emmett

********DISCLAIMER FOR ALL CHAPTER TO SAY I DO NOT OWN TWILIGHT OR THE ACTUAL CHARACTERS. I only own their different personalities I portray them to have. Sadly, Stephenie Meyer owns Twilight and all copyrights to it. I'm not that smart. LOL. NO PLAGIARISM!********

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".God!" Alice squealed. "Turn !"

I turned around, and gasped at the face in the mirror to see in front of me. The reflection of a person with long, brown hair that waves gently mid-back length, big brown eyes framed by long, thick lashes, and a pale creamy heart-shaped face that her hair framed. Her make-up was done skillfully so that it accentuated her best features with her lips tinted a reddish pink, smoky blue shadow and light mascara. Her eyebrow were perfected and arched sharply, but still looked soft.

Tears started to form in my eyes and I stopped before it could ruin their hard work and make my _awesome_ friends unhappy.

I swallowed that stupid lump in my throat and said, "Alice, Rosalie, get your fucking pretty asses here, and give me a fucking hug!"

Alice and Rosalie squealed, ran over to me, and hugged me so tight I had to say, "Can't. Breathe. Let. Go."

Even thought they made me look sexy; which I never thought I could look, but didn't think I was ugly, I still thought they looked better than me. I mean, even their _parents_ looked good. Not that I was attracted to them; hypothetically, and if I was into older people, I would've. They're DILF's and MILF's; especially Carlisle and Esme, who are Alice's and Edward's parents. Rosalie and Jasper's parents were Robert and Cecilia. Now, you may be wondering _why_ Jasper has a Southern Drawl and Rosalie doesn't, that's because Jasper _loves_ The Cowboys, so ever since he could understand football rules, he's been picking up on their drawling accents and imitating them to be just like them. Then one day, it just stuck there and he couldn't stop speaking with that accent. Alice thinks it's somehow sexy, but it doesn't affect me at all.

_Now, back to the present, Bella dah-ling! Erg, fucking Grey Gardens. Damn you Edie and your DAH-LINGS!_

Rosalie and Alice made me twirl around like a model and all that too girly shit for me. In the midst of my fashion parade, I caught a glimpse of reddish brownish coppery hair. Only one person in this house that is besides Esme that has that tint of hair, that is unless Victoria, my cousin decides to come over and visit today. I don't think I saw _that_ shade of red. I turn around suspiciously to see, and I find Edward in the doorway with hooded eyes and parted lips.

_Is that drool I see?_

Definitely drool.

_Is he _ogling_ me? Naw, that's not it; but his state of arousal is pretty much evident, based on the lump between his legs aligning with his hips._

"Edward?"

He snaps up and straightens himself out, "Huh? Oh, you look great Bell. No, beautiful. Your name really fits you as usual, and I think Alice and Rose are doing this because of last week. They're out to get me back for telling Jake that baggy sweats are all the rage, and trashing the inside of their car with a ton of cologne and Axe. You look so sexy right now, Bell." He waggled his brows at the word sexy, reminding me of last years' Halloween costume, I was a Cirque Du Soleil dominatrix ringleader with the whole S&M 9 yards of ecstasy. I wore a corset body piece, leather whip, tailed blazer, top hat, elbow length gloves, and knee length lace up leather boots. I remember that night, ahh, great memories. Edward supposedly attempted but failed immensely at keeping his hands off of me. I love bathroom sex.

"Edward are you _sure_? It looks like you're having a _hard_ time keeping concentration. You look flushed; you need something to _wet_ your throat?" I waggled my eyebrows at each innuendo.

"Mmm," he growled playfully and stepped forward. Rose and Ali stepped forward to stop him _before_ he jumped my bones. That would've been a sight.

"Ali! Come on, why not?" he whined. _What a petulant child!_

"Because, horny brother o' mine, we're going to the park and _outside_ for once, then we're going to handcuff Bella so we can go shopping!" she squealed at the idea, and her voice had escalated while speaking, making the noise ear splitting. I think I heard Emmett growl across the hall, but that's probably just me. Edward groaned in annoyance.

"Ali! Why shopping? Don't we have enough clothing already? You know I hate that load of shit! _Why _do you even bother?" I whined myself. I walked past Alice and Rose to Edward and dramatically draped on his side, partially behind him, as if I was cowering. Alice tried to corner me, but was defeated by my knowledge of her heinous ideas and slipped past her. I jumped onto Edward's back and slipped my heels off, while whispering, "Run like the wind cowboy," to Edward. I kissed the spot behind his ear and he ran. We passed Alice through the front door, and stopped when we got to this meadow. Edward let me down and I looked around.

"You're packing on the pounds, ya know? You're getting heavier to carry!" he teased playfully. I smacked his arm playfully.

"I know, but really? I'm sure you're getting flabbier, too," I teased. I flicked under his arm to show him "proof."

"Oh well, you still love me for it!" he smirked cockily.

"Well, I may just have to leave you because of that!" I teased. I walked away and sat in the middle of the meadow. As I was walking away, Edward slapped my ass and I squealed loudly.

"Ho-ho! I see your weakness!" he cried, and ran over the tickle me until I started hiccupping.

We got outside to the car and since there was a ton of us, we used Em's jeep. Ahh, rope seatbelts make you feel _so_ safe! Okay, maybe not. Especially the way Em drives. I mean seriously? He _has_ to go 50MPH or higher? It's the same with the rest of the Cullen children. Alice & Edward are the same. That's exactly why Alice has a Porsche. But Edward's the little safety man, so he has a sleek Silver Volvo. Emmett has a jeep because he goes off-roading, hiking, and hunting a lot so he won't have to worry about his car getting stuck in the mud because it rains so goddamn much here. The plus side is sine he's also a big guy, so he won't really get cramped in. It's so odd to see a big person drive a little car, and vice-versa. Rosalie has a Mercedes-Benz M3 Convertible in Red, so just the luxury explains everything. Jasper has a Kawasaki motorcycle in Neon Green, and lastly, I have a piece of shit car, which is an old red monster of a pick-up Chevy, which is rusty, and gives out at 50MPH. It groans, the radio doesn't work, and it still runs, so it's okay until it dies, I'll give it a few more short trips, to bet, then I'll have to get a new car. Great timing also, because since after we finish these last few months and then graduation of college, we're all moving to New York City to finish our masters. Esme and Carlisle, Edward, Alice, and Emmett's parents, own a timeshare there, so we can live in it for awhile until we find ourselves our own apartments in Manhattan. Preferably near West End Ave. and 60th, since the timeshare is close there.

"Hey, Jelly!"

"Yeah Em?" I ask.

"Wipe your darn chin, you're droolin'!" he cries.

"Huh?" I discreetly wipe my chin.

"Yeah, you dreamin' bout Eddie-boy here?"

"Naw, _if_ I was, I wouldn't have heard ya, Emmy-bear" I said in a sickly sweet voice. "I would've started something with my man right here by then, and I'd then start to─" I started, but then Emmett stopped me by saying,

"Okay! I get it! I'll stop! Sheesh, I _knew _shouldn't have done that so many times, that I've taught you wrong! Never use the Em-kwon-do words on me, only on other people, like when you want _Ali to shut the fuck up_!" Em said emphasizing _Shut the fuck up_.

"What Emmett? Got your panties in a bunch? All I was talking about before was when Jasper showed me how t─" Em stopped that sentence, and roared,

"ALICE! Okay, I get it! I'll stop feeding your lipstick to the stray cats!"

"I am Emmett, hear me roar!" I snickered to Edward sarcastically. He chuckled silently, so Emmett wouldn't catch anything off.

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**A/N:**

**AHHH! *ducks behind giant basket of muffins* Stop throwing your virtual muffins at me! I'm sorry for falling off the face of the earth again! D: Nooo! Not the Bran muffins! Those hurt, and they're nasty. **

**Hope you liked the chapter! I NEED REVIEWS; FEEDBACK! So I can get back to writing an even better chapter so it won't suck as much, I think you're in for a good scare in this next chapter, it gets serious. You're going to be SUPRISED, to say the least. Tell me your favorite 'Spazward' moment in your reviews also :) My favorite would be in the _Twilight_ spoof called, _Nightlight_. It's really funny, and I guess the movie spoof that just came out :) You've got to see it! It's called, _Vampires Suck_ if you have, tell me your favorite scene, and I'll give you some virtual fangs and a cardboard cut-out of _90210_'s Matt Lanter. He's hot ;).**

**Anyways, again, and lastly; FEEDBACK!**

**loveeeeeee,**

**bellepetitefille  
**


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